If you get a chance.....

Stop by my Business website and let me know what you think of it. www.bfdipso.com I'm hoping that 2010 will be the year my ideas catch hold. I talk AA 12 Step Recovery! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Be careful what you pray for....

I used to ride a bicycle a lot back in my 30's. I am now 62 and thought it might be good to start riding a two wheeler without an engine on it again. So, my beautiful wife got me a bicycle for Christmas. I rode it about 200 yards two days ago. When I came up our driveway, my wife was waiting. I got off and could not stand up straight. My legs were in serious PAIN. I planned on riding it to work when the weather changes. I think it will take some time to get the old body to adjust to this exercise. My wonderful wife will be the driving force behind that one. I used to always say, "my wife works out with weights and I take long naps." I think the whole scenario is about to change. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.............

Oh well, I'm not politically correct. I will not change things that work good. Just like my 12 step recovery program. If it ain't broke, don't fix it! 90% of the United States is Christian. The other 10%, I wish you whatever it is that you see as your way of peace and happiness. I live in a country that was founded on Christian ways, as a Republic. I see my Christian way as being spiritually correct for me, and my Big Book states, "live a spiritual life or die an alcoholic death". This way is working for me for the past 24 years. So MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of my friends and to those who are not yet my friends. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

We are in this Together...............

Helping others, that's the most important feature of AA. When we get sober, we have to help others or we get drunk. It's that simple! Some people come around AA and just hang out and never get active, in helping others. They get bored and can't see what is so good about AA. They eventually end up drinking. Those of us who have a good Sponsor and Home Group are forced into service. We become happy staying sober. You know why? We are built that way. We always feel good when we can help someone else with their problem. If they are a drunk, we know the way out, and show them. When I am with a new guy at a meeting and another new guy stands up and states he is new. I tell the guy I'm with to go talk to him. My new guy says, " I've only got 5 days, what an I going to tell him?" I tell him, "he's go 2 days, tell him how you got 5". My new guy comes back smiling and happy he talked to the new guy. Everybody has something to give to the new man/woman. Start helping others, that will help you. that's how I see it, how about you? Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Try my God.......

I once heard an AA old-timer tell a new man, who did not believe in God, "if you don't have one, try mine, it's worked for over 20 years!" Most of us come into recovery with some predetermined ideas (mostly based in anger) of God, and how he will not work for ME. In the chapter We Agnostics (funny on how that is where all the spiritual stuff is) it states: Live a spiritual life or die an alcoholic death. Those are two bad options for a drunk who is looking for a way out of his/her dismal existence. Some of us will go to our doctor and ask, how bad is an alcoholic death? We often shutter at spirituality, seeing it as we need to become a Monk or Nun. If we have a good Sponsor who came around the same way as we are presently, he/she will know what to do to soften the ride into a spiritual existence. My dear friend Father Martin would say, "if you don't believe, MAKE BELIEVE, you have to start somewhere!" Keep it simple! We are complicated people trying to keep it simple. Its way easier than it looks to us in the beginning. that's how I see it, how do you see it? Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Back from Lost Wages....

Spent Thanksgiving weekend at a AA Roundup in Las Vegas. Had a great time and got a lot of fellowship in. My co-sponsor lives there, and the man who runs the Central Office is an old friend. Great Speakers and a lot of great Marathon meetings. Got a lot of recovery build up and feel really great to get back to Cleveland. The Sunday morning speaker brought up a good point that was new to me. He called it: The Baby Elephant Theory. When a baby elephant is being trained, his front left hoof has a rope around it and it is tied to a tree. He begins to pull and kick and move around for several days. Then he stops all the pulling and just stands still. He is used to the rope and no longer pulls. From that day on they just leave the rope go and when they want him to stand still they just tie the rope to a stake. He doesn't pull and just stands. That's kind of like when we first come to AA and we pull away and stomp our feet and walk away from time to time, until we get used to AA and then we just hang out and no longer fight it. It made a lot of sense to me. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

I'm THANKFUL for.....

being sober and having a family that is great to be with. I'm thankful for being a member of AA, so I can go to Lost Wages each November for a Roundup. I'm thankful for my co-sponsor who lives in Vegas and I can spend some time with him when I go there. I'm thankful for friends and people who I can help and they can also help me. I'm thankful my 87 y/o mom is still around and I can spend time with her (I owe big time!). I'm thankful for my daughter and her husband and kids like me. I have taken my granddaughter (19) with me when I speak at meetings. She likes her grandpa. I'm thankful that I have a life worth living today. I could go on and on. What are you thankful for? Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Half a Beer Club........

I am a dues paying member of the "Half a Beer Club". So, what is this club? My first Sponsor told me that they got me a half a beer to late! So he designated me to the half a beer club. He told me that I am about as well as I will ever be, and that was 20 some years ago. My current sponsor agrees with my first Sponsor and tells me that I will always be in the "Half a Beer Club", so get used to it! Maybe you are one of those to. We do all we can do, but we can only get about this well. We work the steps, help others, practice these principles in almost all of our affairs, just don't cause the kind of trouble we used to cause, and people around us are able to live a much better life because they spend less time trying to keep track of us. I am OK with being in this selective club, one day at a time. Any of you in that club? Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

I have HEROS!!

I know, in AA we never put anyone on a pedestal. My dear friend, Father Martin, told me onetime: Didn't you have heroes when you were a kid? Like the Lone Ranger, Gene Autry, and others. Was it harmful to do that? Didn't they lose the battle once in a while? Do I have heroes? You bet I do! Are they capable of falling? Yes they are. But, while they are doing good, they are my heroes. Even when they fall and get back up, they are still my hero. They are those people who have provided the way for me. Taught me valuable lessons. I would watch them go thru life troubles, and sometimes they would succeed, and sometimes they wouldn't. I have a lot of heroes in AA, and some who are just regular people. That's my point. What's yours. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

For that I am responsible!

Have you ever heard the "Responsible Pledge"? When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA to be there, for that I am responsible. That always interested me. So, if AA is just for alcoholics, why does it say "anyone"? Why doesn't it say alcoholics? My thoughts about that are: we are supposed to help ANYONE who needs help, not just other drunks. So, why do we try to tell addicts or any other addicted person to go somewhere else if they need help for something other than alcoholism? I used a lot of drugs in my using years, along with and mostly alcohol. I am an alcoholic, but I am an addict too. When I came around in the early '80's they reached out to me, because I met the pledge. I was an "ANYONE". Well that's my thoughts, what are yours? Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

I need to find a Sponsor......

People in my business have been telling people for years to: Look around and find someone you can relate to. If someone would have told me that, I would have went back to the bar. I can relate to the person sitting next to me on a bar stool. I tell him two lies and buy him a drink. He tells me two lies and buys me a drink. I can relate to that. I couldn't relate to someone telling me the truth about myself and what I needed to do to change. I tell people to do what has been done since the beginning. In 1941 the first meeting schedule was developed in Cleveland. In the back of that schedule it told you how to get a sponsor. It says the same today, no need to change! "The secretary in turn finds a sponsor". If I used my head (what a mess that thing was) to find a sponsor, it would be a bad idea. If someone who was sober for a bit and had a home group roster to choose from, chances are a more able sponsor would be appointed. Keep it Simple!! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Just don't drink.......

I was at my Home Group today and a lady I have known for some time was sitting there crying. She had got drunk the last several days. She has never been able to get more than a few years at a time. The first thing she said to me was "I'm Sorry Bob". I said to her, sorry for what, doing what we are all supposed to be doing. I then asked her, "are you sober today?". She said Yes. I told her, "Me too!" I'll tell you what we will do. Lets keep doing what we are doing today for the rest of today, and when we get up tomorrow, we'll do it one more day. Let's just do this "One day at a time". Let's not complicate a simple program. She gave me a hug and said, "I love you Bob, thanks for being a friend". KEEP IT SIMPLE, ONE DAY AT A TIME. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

My Home Group

I joined my home group four years before I got sober. I'm sober now for 24 years. So I have been at the same, and only home group for 28 years. All the old timers that were there when I arrived are, unfortunately, deceased. The group has taken a different direction and I feel left out in the new direction they have taken. A lot of the old ways are gone. I don't like that! Imagine that, I don't do well with change. Some of the things that are happening are not in line with AA principles, especially the Home Group booklet that is available through Central Office. I spent a lot of time discussing this with my Sponsor, and after a lot of talking and several months of maybe, maybe not, and on and on, I have finally made a decision with the help from a lot of AA's, including my Sponsor. I had been going to a group on Saturdays since they started and like the meeting. They like me and I talked to the people who started the group and they told me, " we would love to have you be a member here!" One group, not feeling welcome, one group please come with us. Not much of a choice, other than doing that thing we dislike the most, CHANGE. So I did it!! I left the first one and joined the new one. Real life is still happening. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Who's helping who?

When I got sober my sponsor told me that I am here to help you! Shortly after that, he told me, "you are doing a good job keeping a lot of people sober". I didn't understand that. He said, "how do you think us old timers stay sober? By helping you!" This recovery thing is a two-way street. I help the new person and he gets sober (or maybe not). While I'm doing that, I am bolstering my own recovery. Step Twelve stuff. I believe that statement, The most important person in the room is that new person. Without him, how would I continue to build my own recovery. By myself? We know how well that worked in the past. Boy, I love this AA stuff! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

I am everything I have always........

loved in a person! Boy, it took a long time to get here. I hated my very existence for a number of years ( and sometimes still do). I was sober a number of years before I began to accept myself for however I was at that time. As Dr. O would say, "acceptance is the answer to all my problems, whenever some person, place, thing, some fact of my life is unacceptable to me, I can find no serenity until I accept that, on and on. Well, I was that person, place, and thing that was unacceptable to me. How do you do that? Find peace within yourself? What an order! I can't go through with it. But I had to, or just lay down and die. Well, I went through with it and didn't lay down and die. I'm here today and pretty happy being Bob. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Tomorrow is Halloween.......

Some of us should dress up like we used to dress up. What a sight, huh! Unfortunately, some of us still act like we used to. I do from time to time. I can fall back into that selfish self-centered person at the drop of a hat. Thank God we have Sponsors and sober running buddies who are allowed to tell us when we fall back. If I didn't have that working in my life today, it would be like Halloween every day for a drunk like me. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

A drunk walks in a bar.....

and says, " give me a shot of Jim Bean and a water chaser". The Bartender pours him the shot and water chaser. Takes his money and puts the change on the bar. The drunk drinks the water and says to the Bartender, "give me another shot of Jim Beam". The Bartender pours the next shot and puts it next to the first one and collects the money. The drunk downs the second shot and asks for another one. The Bartender states, "what the hell are you doing, how come you pushed the first one aside?" The Drunk said, " I've been going to those AA meetings and they told me, whatever you do, don't take that first drink, it'll kill ya!" Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

A friend of mine....

has been sober for a number of years and had a really bad stroke and is now in a nursing home. She will probable be there for some time. She is making progress. She has begun to say some words and is able to smile. She even gave me a kiss last Wednesday. We put a Big Book on her night stand and everyone that goes to see her is to read 2 or more pages, and put there name at the bottom of the pages so we know where we are at. She loves that book and has lots of AA friends visit her. That, I believe helps her and helps us too! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Real life happens......

Today they are doing some radical changes where I work. Everybody is in a tizzy. Thank God I'm sober and have a loving and merciful God. I just do my job and let things happen. I know that I will be in his hands, that's enough! The new CEO walked into my office and said, "what is your job?" I said, "boy, I'm not sure." Jokingly, of course. He laughed and the Nurses with him said, "that's Bob, we love him". Being sober gives me what I need to just keep on this journey and expect to be protected. I never worry about what will be next. So, whatever is next, is next, and just that simple. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

My newest DVD's

I just produced and published 3 new DVD's. The first one is: "Our Path", a 30 minute video on what the path in recovery is. The Second is: Relapse Dynamics- Its a thought process, a 30 minute video on another way to look at relapse without "reintroducing" yourself. the third is: Spirituality: Spirituality vs. Religion, Its way simpler than you think!, a 30 minute video for a new person to get past preconceived ideas. My first video is available at www.gwcinc.com and is Discovery Before Recovery. A 6 minute teaser can be viewed on the site. I will be speaking at a professional conference next April, in St. Louis, and next may in Columbus, Ohio. Well, that's a little update on me. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Clarence Snyder.....

Most members of AA have little knowledge of Clarence and what he is to AA. Clarence is actually the man who named AA and started the first AA Group in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. The group was The G Group. Named after Abby Golrick and held at his house. There is a lot of rich information. You can google Clarence Snyder and he has a book out. Clarence died some time ago. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

WHO MOVED?

I remember when I was first sober, I thought that God had moved away from me. Why wouldn't he? I was living a very bad existence and got to the point of not caring. I was brought up in a Christian Home and left that at around age 12, when I started doing things "my way". So I am getting sober and talking to the old timers and one of them said to me, "if God is far away from you, who moved?" It was that simple. I started a walk toward God, and day by day, things just got better. Not quickly, but slowly. I had a lot of cleaning up to do. This is 24 years later, and I am still getting closer to God. One day at a time. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Which comes first.....

Some time ago, I had a conversation with my friend Father Martin. It went like this: So, Bob, when you were still using did you have a God of your understanding? No I didn't. When you got sober and started working the steps did you have it then? No I didn't. Did you have human friends when you were using? No, maybe a few rent-a-friends. Did you have some friends when you got sober. Yes, I started to have some good friends. A Sponsor and some sober running buddies. When and how did you get a God of your understanding? When I got a Sponsor and started working the steps, along with hanging around other sober people, it just happened over a period of time. So, where are you with God now? I have a great relationship with God, and it is growing day by day. So, tell me Bob, which comes first, your friendship with God or with other Humans? Humm, it seems my friendship with other Humans came first. Don't forget that Bob! That's why god put so many of us here, so we can help each other. God is the Alpha, but he charges us with helping each other make the connection. In my heart and in my mind, Father Martin will never be gone! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Principles before personalities.....

AA's Founding Fathers seem to have known what was coming. Sort of like this Country's Founding Fathers. Look at the statement "Principles before personalities". The Principles are the 12 Steps. The Personalities are the men and women of AA. They are both very important to the life of AA. The piece I like most of all, is that they used the word "before", instead of "instead". They understood how important the men and woman of AA is to all of us, including the new man or woman. Most often, we need people before we begin to work the steps. We need a Sponsor, Home Group, group of drunks to hang with, etc. We all can agree that the steps are the work that frees us from this addiction, but also how important the men and woman are to this program. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

Some of my favorite sayings......

Meeting makers make it or People who don't go to meetings never hear what happens to people who don't go to meetings.

The elevator to recovery is out of order, PLEASE TAKE THE STEPS.

I am everything I always loved in a person.

Having a pity party? Don't send out for pizza or pitch a tent!

If I always do what I've always done, I'll always get what I've always got!

I used to live one day at a time, but it was always yesterday or tomorrow.

Poor me, Poor me, Pour me another drink.

Short version of the serinity prayer: F@#* it!

Some people are on the marijuana maintenance plan.

You're doing pretty good with those 3 absolutes!

If no one has told you that they love you today, better luck tomorrow!

I don't worry about you between the Serenity prayer and the Lord's prayer, I worry about you between the Lord's prayer and the Serenity prayer.

Those are just a few..... Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later Bob

12 Promises....

Those 12 Promises that you hear read at all AA meetings are not the "12 Promises of AA". They are actually the 12 promises of the ninth step. Those promises come true before you are halfway through (the ninth step). They are some of the promises written in the 12 steps. Each step has at least 2 promises. Bill was a brilliant writer. He understood that we humans need to see some promises whenever we are asked to do some work. Like a paycheck after you work 40 hours. Like a grade after you finish a project in school. Like Mom's gift to you after you finish your weekly chores. We need to let new people know when these things happen. A good Sponsor is needed to educate new people. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

I'm back......

It's been a while, but I'm back for a bit. I have three new DVD's out. 1 "Our Path" What Bill meant when he wrote the first sentence in Chapter 5. 2 Relapse Dynamics, How to understand Relapse in a way you never have to reintroduce yourself. 3 Spirituality: It's way simpler than you think! This time I did them myself and own them. Two companies are selling them and I am too. They can be bought through www.gwcinc.com and www.kineticvideo.com . All I do is like my dear friend Father Martin always did. The last time I talked to him he called me a "modern day Father Martin". That is extremely special to a guy like me. I talk to Mae every week, and she is doing fine. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

"OUR PATH"

Wow, have I been busy. It's been a while since I posted last. I just got finished doing 3 more DVD's that will be available at GWC, Inc or my business BFdipso, LLC in about 3 weeks. The 3 new topics are "Our Path", Relapse Dynamics- It's a thought Process, and Spirituality Religion vs. Spirituality, It's way simpler than you think! "Our Path" is from page 58 of The Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. I go into what Bill was talking about. How there was no AA when he wrote that line. There was nobody working 12 Steps yet. Sponsor wasn't even thought of yet. But, there is a very distinct PATH that started forming in 1931 with Dr. Carl Jung and Roland Hazard. Then to Ebby Thatcher. Then to Bill. then to Dr. Bob. Then to Bill Dotson, and on and on. It's an interesting story. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later. Bob

We are but trusted servants....

We do not govern. A lot of great old timers have told me, over the years, the longer you are around, the smaller you should get. I am starting to figure that out. My BEHAVIOR is the thing that is most obvious and most able to direct someone. My mouth only creates dissension and sometimes I say things that I can't shove back in my mouth. When I hear someone make a lambasting comment at a meeting, I need to focus on what he didn't get his way with, instead of wanting to tell him off. We are a troubled lot, even with the alcohol and drugs behind us. Love and tolerance, that's what my friend Father Martin always told me to strive for. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

, as we understood Him,

Great! I got a lot of comments on that post, and I loved them all. A dear friend of mine, Father Joseph Martin, died last month. He would always tell me things that guide me along this way of life. One time he told me, "When God delivers some goodness to your life, expect to get bombarded by Satan". It never fails. Boy, that man will always be one of my HERO'S. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

What normal people do....

When a normal person is going along and gets lost, he will stop and get some directions, and get back on course. Us drunks handle it a little different. When we get lost, we SPEED UP. It fits the saying, I may be lost, but I'm making excellent time. So much for all the time we spend on figuring things out. We keep going ahead, and sometimes damn fast! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

, as we understood Him.

When I first got sober, I had no working relationship with any God. I asked my Sponsor, " what do I do now?" He told me, " we are going to do what the steps say to do". I told him that Bill stated that Ebby told him to make up a god that you understand to get started. My sponsor told me that remember that Ebby was never a member of AA. So we will go beyond that and work the steps. I said OK, what now. He stated that the step says, "God, as we understood Him, not as I understood Him, not as the speaker understood Him, not as a Priest understood Him", and on and on. So, he asked me to go out and find out what WE UNDERSTAND. I got a note book and started asking people. I would write down what each person understood. After a few weeks, we sat down and went over my notes. He then asked me, "Is there any common thread to all the information you have gathered?" There was! The bottom line was everyone had a higher power who was loving, trustworthy, kind, gentle, forgiving, non judgemental, and available. He asked if I can grab a hold of that and find this power? It was simple. When I was growing up, my mom keep bringing to me the Jesus stuff. Singing to me at night, and praying with me all the time, and that was a good time, and I felt attached to what she was holding me with. So, I just had to go back to the way it was. It was that simple for me. Well that's what worked for me. What worked for you? Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Am I grateful.....

I'm an Alcoholic? Not always! I can remember onetime, when my wife asked me to fix the toaster. I took it in the garage and took it apart. It got messed up and I couldn't get it back together right. I thought of just buying a new one, and telling her I fixed it and cleaned it up. All better now! But, because I am sober now, I had to tell her I tried to fix and couldn't, so I bought her a new one. Was I grateful I couldn't lie? Not at that moment. I had to tell her the truth. That's just one example. There are many more. And that is a simple example, a lot are more complicated. I'll bet you got some too. Tell me yours. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

I listen with my eyes.......

and have found that to be an easier way to understand people around me. All my life I would hear what you said, and take you at your word. Others would do that with me, and they found out, when I was a kid, you can't do that with me. When I got sober and ended up doing what I do for a living, I started to realize that we can say anything! How often do we see people telling us how happy they are with a frown on their face. It just doesn't work. If someone tells me they are working the steps, I should be able to see it as well as hear it. It has become refreshing to be able to tell you, "I'm not doing so good today", when in fact I'm not. It's much easier to work through difficult times if I go through it, not try to go around it. So when you see me and talk to me, remember I'm also listening with my eyes. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

It's not just a coin.....

My first Sponsor gave me a 24 hour a day coin, and told me to keep it in my pocket. He told me to bring it back to him If I was thinking about drinking. Not after I took that drink. My first year I was at his house a number of times, telling him "here's your f*&!@ coin! He would say come on in, we need to talk. After some time, he would give me my coin back and off I would go, STILL SOBER. In the beginning, Sister Ignatia would give the guys leaving Rosary Hall a Patron Saint coin, with the same directions, Give it back before you drink. I get a new coin from my Sponsor each year on my Anniversary and it stays in my pocket. I have left for work in the morning and forgot my coin. I would drive back home and get it, sort of a security blanket. But, IT WORKS!! My co-Sponsor lives in Las Vegas, and I have a coin from him in my pocket. A couple of times a year, I get this urge to drink, so I go to Las Vegas to give him the coin. Just kiddin about that one. That coin is a simple solution, and those things work for me for the past 24 years. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

You won't follow directions!!

That was told to me all my life by family, friends, bosses, and on and on. I would always do things my way. Frank Sinatra, huh. I ended up crawling into AA with the old tail between my legs. When I was first sober, my Sponsor would send me out the back door of the local AA Club, and told me to go the right and mail this letter. He would tell me later, "If someone asked him where I went, he would tell them, he went out the back door and went to the left". He was sure of that. It took some time. But, I eventually got it. If I just follow directions, things went way better. And I like a way better life. Keeping it simple to me, is FOLLOW DIRECTIONS. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

I'm allergic to beans.....

Think about this one. If my Doctor told me, "you're allergic to beans, so don't eat any or you might die!" Do you think I should just eat one, hide them around the house so nobody will know, try switching from lima beans to kidney beans, drive to a store out of town so nobody will see me buying beans, leave work early and stop at the corner greasy spoon and sneak an order of beans, and on and on. But it seems rather normal to look at all the outrageous things we do, so we can keep drinking alcohol. I know, sometimes my mind gets a little out of sinc with the rest of the world. Oh well, that's me. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Meeting makers make it.....

I understand that saying, and agree that it is that simple. Another saying that I have always liked is; People who don't go to meetings, never hear what happens to people who don't go to meetings. A little more complicated, but so am I! I am fortunate enough to have gotten sober in Cleveland, where AA actually started. There are over 700 meetings a week in Greater Cleveland. No reason to not be able to get to a whole lot of meetings. When I first got sober, I had no job, no place to go, so I was able to go to around 16 meetings a week, with a lot of time to spare. When I got a job, I cut back to 14 meetings a week. When I got married and reunited with my children, I cut back to 10 meetings a week. I now go to 5 to 7 meetings a week, and everyone around me is Thankful for that. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Half measures availed us nothing....

When I first read that, I said to my Sponsor, "Man, I'm screwed! I've half done everything in my life." He was a very smart Sponsor. He opened to Dr. Bob's Nightmare, and went to the back of his story and had me read the part that stated, If you put half the energy into staying sober, that you put into drinking, You will stay sober. It was just enough to keep me on target, and continue in this life of miracles. We get what we need. Thank God!! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Moment of Clarity.....

I see this as a very important part of anyone's recovery. It should be a focus and understood very clearly. After 25 years of drinking and drugging, I woke up on the floor of my Bar, and for the first time ever, I thought, "this can't keep going on like this!" That thought was never before in my mind. I had been coming to AA meetings for 4 years. Happy to have them bail me out of trouble, as my family always had done. Never had followed anyones direction or advice. It just was not me. So this thought could not have been Bob, it had to have come from someone else, but it was in my head. This time I went to a meeting and started doing what I was told to do. That even had me wondering what was going on. It wasn't a God thing, as far as I could tell. If I saw it as a God thing, I would not have heeded to what my head was saying. I was very much an Agnostic. So, it seems as if my God delivered a message to me that I would take hold of, and actually do something about. Certainly a MOMENT OF CLARITY, if there ever was one, in Bob's life. So, what was your's? Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

My favorite alkie joke....

A drunk sitting in a bar, asks the bartender to give him a shot of Jim Beam and a side of water. The bartender gives the drunk his order and collects the money. As he brings the change back, the drunk pushes the shot aside, and asks the bartender to give him a shot of Jim Beam. The bartender pours him another shot and the drunk downs that shot and drinks the water chaser. The bartender couldn't help it, he had to ask the drunk, What the heck are you doing? How come you pushed the first shot aside and drank the second one? The drunk said, I've been going to those AA meetings, and they told me to not take that first drink! So tell me one of yours....Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Who shouldn't go to AA?

Over the years, I have been asked to meet with Judges and the sorts in Cleveland, Ohio, and address this question. I came up with a presentation. It goes like this: I understand that the courts were beginning to see AA as a cult, religion, and on and on. So, I would meet with Judges. I would ask them a simple question, Who would you see as someone who would not make it in AA? They would respond with these and more: 1. Someone who heard about AA and didn't like what they heard. 2. Someone who didn't want to have a Sponsor. 3. Someone who was sure they would never want to tell others their story. 4. Someone who had no intention on doing that 5th step. 5. Someone who could not see that they have amends to make. 6. Someone who couldn't see how a morning or evening prayer was something they would do. 7. Someone who just couldn't see them self going to meetings. 8. Someone who didn't like those stories, and for sure would never want to tell one. 9. Someone who says they never hurt anyone else. 10. and the list went on and on. Here's the punch line to this presentation: After I had this all up on a Blackboard, I would stand back and gaze at it. Then I would say, "this list you just told me and I put it up as you said it, describes me when I first came around. I wonder why I stayed?" So, to end this talk I would have them seeing that the whole issue is to make sure the new person IS NOT JUST SENT TO AA! That, like they did in the old days, they were connected up with someone who is already a member and comfortable with this way of life. We all come in with a lot of baggage, and preconceived notions of what AA is or isn't. We need them to be with a seasoned veteran to help them fit in and get into this way of life. That works best! Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Meeting makers make it......

I like that saying. Here's another one I like too: People who don't go to meetings, never hear what happens to people who don't go to meetings. So simple! I went to 16 meetings a week when I first got sober. Finally got a part time job and cut back to 14 meetings. Got a full time job and cut back to 12. During that period of time I had too much free time, even going to all those meetings. I would tell me Mom, that I was safe when I was at a meeting. My Mom would say, not as safe as we are! I put together a group of sober people who I hung with all the time. When I would get the thought that I should cut back on meetings, they would show up at my house and drag me to a meeting. I got married at 8 years and cut back to 9 meetings a week. That worked fine. The last 10 years I still go to 6 meetings a week, and if my wife is mad at me, I go to 7 or 8. Sitting at a meeting is a place where I can be assured of some quality time for myself! I like it that way, and so does my Mom and my Wife. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

FATHER MARTIN PASSED THIS AM....

Father Martin passed away this AM. He will be missed by a whole bunch of us! I will miss our weekly conversations. He was always so uplifting, and just a pleasure to talk with. My prayers are with Mae and her husband. they have cared for Father for many years. Peace be with Father and all who will miss his humor and 12 step knowledge.

If he takes me to it....

He'll take me through it. It took a long time for me to start to believe what my first Sponsor told me. He kept telling me that saying over and over. After some ten years, I started to see some actual results of that saying actually working in my life. Does that mean I actually have full faith in God handling things that I see as not having a good chance of it working out? NO! I sometimes have to talk to my Sponsor or others to get me back on track and holing line with a project I am struggling with. Another thing my sponsor would always tell me, "God will never take you around it, He takes you through it!" Sometimes I would just like to avoid a situation, and go around it. That seems to be a not so happy ending way. It's a struggle to go through it, but much nicer on the other side. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

We have met the enemy-It is US....

That is from a comic strip, POGO, some years ago. It seems to fit us addicts and alcoholics. How many times have you heard the saying, "when you point your finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you. How about Bill W.'s favorite saying "I'm an egomaniac, with an inferiority complex". When I did my fourth step, my Sponsor had to keep reminding me, "it's your inventory not someone Else's!" We spend a lot of time looking at others when the simple truth is, look inside self. When I am working with a new guy, it takes a lot of looking into my own soul to focus on him and keeping him on track. That is why, in the 2nd paragraph, in Working With Others, Bill wrote that you don't want to miss what happens to the new person. When asked about that Bill said, "we missed what happened to us". I am convinced that I AM THE ENEMY, and if I work on that enemy, I will learn to change and live at peace with the enemy. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

God/Good Friends....

My dear friend, Father Martin, asked me some questions, which led me through a birth of some new knowledge. It went like this; When you were drinking and drugging, did you have any true friends who you felt close to and would trust with your life? My answer was NO. When you were drinking and drugging, did you have a relationship with a higher power? My answer was NO. When you first got sober, which came first friends or Higher Power? Friends in recovery. How soon after did you start to grasp an idea of Higher Power? Several Months later, as I worked the steps, with those new friends. His point was: true friendship and your Higher Power are intermarried together. What an eye opener for me, to see that as I became more open to having friends in AA, my relationship with my Higher Power was growing. God/Good Friends, they seem to work together. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

,we tried to carry this message to alcoholics,

That's part of the 12th step. What you see there is what is meant there! It doesn't say, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics who picked up the phone and called the central office and asked us to... Dr. Bob didn't call Bill. Bill went out in search of an alcoholic to work with, because he was about to drink. I have gone to some pretty seedy places in search of alcoholics and addicts I could help, in order to help myself. I work in a Treatment Center and work with people who don't want this way of life. Do I give up on them? Never! I look at it this way, I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE SOBER TODAY! God freely gave me the right, which I didn't deserve. I now have a right and a demand from God to go out and find others who don't have a right to be sober, and help them. I sometimes get frustrated with those of us who think it is my right to be sober and I don't need to help anyone, if I choose not too. Good Luck!! I have heard people say, "We carry the message, not the mess". I thank God every day, that the people who reached out and pulled me in, did not believe that last statement. They carried the MESS for quite some time. Good thing for me. I made it because they followed directions. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

WHICH VOICE IS TALKING....

I work with new folks everyday. I listen to them very closely. Whenever they talk, I ask myself which voice was that? I see us as having two very distinct voices. A voice in a recovery mode and a voice in the addiction mode. In early recovery, that voice of addiction talks very loud, and the voice of recovery is very soft. I see that as the most important reason for getting a social sober support system. When I talk they can remind me which voice is talking. The voices that directs me will be louder and help me drown out that voice that wants "TO KILL ME, AND GO ON WITHOUT ME". I see folks who sober up, and think, "boy I'm doing great now!", and go on their way alone. That last quote was the voice of addiction! An old lady I once knew had a term I liked. She said, "See How hard I Try". She calls that the SHIT syndrome. Anything the disease voice can tell me and get away with it, is a little closer to satisfying the addictions thirst. Being in a support system is clearly the most important place for the new person to be. This disease fights DIRTY. We need to fight it dirty. Two against one is the best way to fight it. If we try to fight this disease fairly, we have already lost. Lets gang up on this disease and take it out, once and for all. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Principles before Personalities.....

Do you have HERO's in recovery? I do, and lots of them. I've been told, over the years, about principles before personalities. I tell those people that I pay close attention to that, and I see what it is and what it is not. It is not principles INSTEAD of personalities. Can my hero's fall, sure can. The Lone Ranger fell from time to time. Tonto would pull him through. I've got some personal hero's in Cleveland, some alive and some that have passed. They taught me very valuable lessons. I am grateful for what they showed me, by the way they lived their lives in recovery. If you haven't figured it out by now, Father Martin is one of my hero's. He lives these principles as best he can, and he has showed me some valuable tools, when it comes to interaction with people in and out of this program. When I am faced with a problem, either his or another friend from AA's, situation (similar to the one I face) will surface as a way to address the situation and offer me a solution that will hurt neither me or the other person. Is this hero worshipping? Probably, but I'm OK with that. I will end this with a quote from Father, "when I no longer have hero's, it will probably be my time to leave". That works for me. Time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

FATHER MARTIN

Quick note on Father. I called his house yesterday, and Father answered the phone. Praise God!! He was a little sluggish, but certainly not his demeanor or wit. We talked for about 10 minutes, and in closing he said as he always says, "keep me in your prayers Bob, as I always do you." Every meeting I go to I ask for prayers for Father, when the ask for prayers for the sick and suffering. Please do that for him.

90 Meetings in 90 days....

an old timer in Cleveland has a saying he uses. He says, "if you sit in your garage for 90 days, when you come out, you won't be a CAR". He doesn't discount the fact that meeting makers make it, he just wants to put the focus on the real work: Sponsor, working the steps, reading the Big Book, helping others, etc. He would make note of those who just go there and never get involved. Sometimes it takes a minute to catch the fever of AA work. Another saying he would say is: "People who don't go to meetings, never hear what happens to people who don't go to meetings. I used to take a guy to meetings every day, and he was always drunk when I would take him. He eventually got sober and now has around 14 years. What if I would have told him call me when you get serious and I will help you? I came around that way, and see that meeting makers make it! But at some point, while we are there we must get active. I know, we say suggested. Well the word suggest is used 7 times in the first 164 pages of our Big Book. The word must is used 76 times! Well it's time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Sponsor

I was given my first Sponsor, and every one since. I have never picked one. If you look at the oldest meeting schedule in AA, that would be the Cleveland one, On the last page, under CLEVELAND DISTRICT OFFICE, in the first paragraph, it states: The District Office is the hub of all AA groups in Northeastern Ohio. The primary purpose of the District Office is to answer the call for help from the still suffering alcoholic. It is our duty then to relay the call for help to the secretary of the nearest group or individuals who have placed their names on file. The secretary in turn finds a SPONSOR. This was written in the first meeting schedule, put into use in 1941. Not one word has changed. I think over the years, we started taking an easier way, by telling that new person to look around and find someone you can relate to. If I would have been told that, I would have gone back to the bar. I sit on a stool and tell the guy next to me a couple of lies and buy him a drink. Then he tells me a couple of lies and buys me a drink. At that time I could relate to that! My first Sponsor was assigned by the Secretary. When he retired and went south, he assigned my next sponsor, when that Sponsor got very ill, he assigned my next Sponsor, when that Sponsor was in Hospice, he interviewed several men and assigned my next Sponsor. That seems to have worked for me, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it! I believe with all my heart, that a Sponsor relationship is a two way street. I get as much help from him as he also gets from me. Hence, this program is one drunk helping another! Time for some coffee, catch ya all later.

Having had a Spirtual Awakening.....

as THE result of these steps, Bill was, if nothing else, a gifted writer and master of the English language. This step sums it all up. This spiritual awakening is THE result, not a result, not one of the results, THE result. If you look at awakening, it is a constant thing going on for quite some time. Think of awakening in the morning. Do you jump out of bed already dressed and run out the door. Maybe some do, but awakening is a process. First the alarm goes off, hit the snooze bar a few times, then get up and say your prayers (still awakening), go to the bathroom and shower and shave, do your hair, whatever, then go to the kitchen and eat something. All this time we are still awakening! Lets look at after taking that last drink and beginning to work the steps. In this recovery life, we are awakening. We work the first nine steps and then we begin to live the last three, day by day, for the rest of our lives (hopefully). Bill saw that as an ongoing process, and he saw it as awakening, one day at a time. I have heard speakers say, "I wish I was as far along as old what's his name". That's missing the point Bill was making. Everyone of us are that very point of our personal awakening as we should be at that time. We should all take note that none of us are alike (thank goodness), and we should hold our heads up, because we are right where our God wants us to be at that time. I believe, we are moving ahead in this awakening all the way to the final day, when we will be awake in our God's hands. So, I take it as a grace to be wherever I am at in this awakening, at this time. We are all just awakening along the way in this Human life, in a spiritual way. Time for a cup of coffee, and awaken a little more. See ya soon!

SOBER?

What is the meaning of the word sober? Today it means, not intoxicated. But, let's look back and see what it really means. The English language is the most difficult language to learn because each word has a lot of meanings. How about the word gay. I grew up believing if you are gay, you are a happy person. If you use the word gay today, it means you are homosexual. Words change. A phrase from the 1800's was "SOBER AS A JUDGE". Did that mean he wasn't drunk? I don't think so. If you look in the dictionary, each word has several meanings with a number correspondence. Number one is the most recent use, number two an older use, and so on. If you look up sober and go to an older use, you will see what I mean. A very old meaning of the word sober is; capable of making life decisions. Thus, why the saying sober as a judge made sense back then. A judge was always making "life decisions from the bench". The town drunk, when drunk was called useless and a problem that should be locked up, and so on. But put him in jail for a few days and gather his wits about him, he becomes (as society would say) capable of making life decisions. So with that in mind, do you see how the word sober came to mean "not drunk"? Over the years I have been saying, "if a drunk stops drinking he is dry!" It takes a lot of work, working a 12 step recovery program, living life on life's terms, taking an inventory, admitting wrongs, making amends, before the word SOBER can safely describe the once drunk person. So, you can now see why I use the word SOBER only with some safe probing and understanding of the person I am using it to describe. That's my take on it. what's yours?

Suboxone?

I started working with two Doctors last year, who are career Addictionologists. Over time I have learned to respect them and their opinions very much. They started sending me IOP client's who they have on Suboxone. I was hesitant for a few months, but that changed over this past year. I am following about a dozen of their client's and I am very impressed! A few had picked up again, but most are working a powerful 12-step program. And the ones that picked up again, most have come back.I have a good relationship with their Sponsors, and I see the clients, as well as the Sponsors weekly. So over this past year, I am able to see that Suboxone is a viable choice for the opiate addict, as long as they are involved in 12-step recovery and have a positive Sponsor who also accepts this form of recovery. My personal 12-step recovery program has opened my eyes to the fact that "we realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask him in you morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick." I am trying to hold true to those words. I see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am at peace with that!

RELAPSE DYNAMICS

RELAPSE: It's a thought process, not an action! What is the new person told to do when he/she is in a relapse? TELL SOMEONE, GET HELP, CALL YOUR SPONSOR, GO TO A MEETING, PRAY, ETC. Well, if you are told that a relapse is an action that means you have already began using again, that's too late! How about if we begin to look at a relapse as thinking instead of using? Now it becomes possible to engage some good recovery techniques before that drink or drug is picked up.

I've had two relapses today, and I'm still sober! How's that possible?

First of all, we have to agree that recovery is not just being dry, but actually working a 12-step program. Then we look at your thinking process in this recovery. We hope that your thinking has begun to be positive and more centered on the steps and promises. Now you work on setting up ways to check your thinking throughout the day. This will eventually become a habit instead of a working production. But, until that happens you will need to stop often and check your thoughts out before they become action. Next, you will need to have a support system, which includes a Sponsor that you will talk to daily about your thinking process. This will help your mind set up boundaries and check points that will become more natural as time passes.

Now let us define relapse in thinking. If thinking in recovery is mostly a positive pattern, then relapse would be negative thinking. Some of these thoughts would sound like; He/She doesn't like me, I'm not being treated fairly, nobody will see me take that, leave me alone, and add all the thoughts you can think of to this list. Remember, these thoughts will become benchmarks that will set up warnings for when they come up in your mind. Now we are beginning to set up some relapse dynamics that will begin the process of seeing a relapse as thinking, not using.

What do we do now? We begin to stop immediately when we identify our thinking has begun to be negative. We do a short inventory of what just happened and why has my thinking changed? We kick back into a positive recovery thinking mode and we have just returned to the recovery process. We have just avoided picking up that next drink or drug. We are still CLEAN AND SOBER.

We are now viewing relapse as a thought process not an action of picking up the next drink or drug. Recovery is positive thinking and relapse is negative thinking. When thinking goes to negative, we can inventory it and return to positive thinking. This is true relapse dynamics. My thinking can change without having to change my sobriety/clean date. Now isn't that way easier than that uncomfortable action of "reintroducing yourself"?

THE HOW AND WHY OF IT....

The Big Book-Alcoholics Anonymous has many ideas that can be chained in it. Bill was a brilliant writer. Here's one for you:
Page 20; Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking- "what do I have to do?"

Page 62: This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work.

When you chain these two ideas together, it becomes very clear what Bill was telling us to do. Our power got us NOWHERE! Time to turn it over to a power that will get us somewhere!

Page 45: Lack of power, that was our dilemma.... Well, that's exactly what this book is about. It's main objective is to enable you to find a power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God.

A little AA history and Bill's story will tell you that he was a Baptist as a boy. His Father was a Minister and when he left Bill's Mother, Bill gave up on Religion. That put him into being an Atheist, as Bill saw it. When Ebbie got Bill to go to the Oxford Group, Bill slowly became Agnostic. When Bill was writing the Big Book he was slowly turning from Agnostic back to a Christian. In the late '30's into the Early '40's Bill was studying under Bishop Fulton Sheen, and considering becoming a Catholic. That never happened. Father Ed Dowling was Bill's self-proclaimed "Spiritual Advisor". Father Ed would travel from St. Louis to New York several times a year to meet with Bill. The chapter: We Agnostics, you see, takes on more meaning as we study Bill's life.

Father Martin

Father came home from the Hospital Monday. Mae called 911 on Tuesday morning. He was taken back to the Hospital. His blood pressure dropped and he was dehydrating. I will call Mae today and see how he is. Please keep him in your prayers! I love that guy, he has always been an inspiration to me and my recovery.

Our Path

For years I wondered what Bill meant by the first sentence in Chapter 5. The sentence was written in 1938 and published in 1939. There were no AA meetings, no Sponsors, the steps were just published. What could the path have been? It goes back to Carl Jung working with Roland Hazard in Switzerland. Roland was sent back to the USA sober again. Dr. Jung told him to find a meeting of The Oxford Group, and go to those meetings. He wanted Roland to find a SPIRITUAL solution, because all the mental and psychiatric solutions didn't work with a "drunk that far gone". Roland did that and was able to stay sober for a short time. The Oxford people told him to find another drunk and help him. That was an Oxford Group Tenant. He went and found an old buddy, Ebbie Thatcher and took him to a meeting. They started to hang out and the two of them seemed to be onto something.Ebbie went and saw his old drinking buddy, Bill Wilson, and convinced him to come to a meeting with him and Roland. Bill finally did. Bill started to get sober and stay that way. Bill went to Akron, Ohio in 1935, on a business trip. It didn't go well and Bill wanted to drink. He decided he would do what his Buddy Ebbie passed on to him. Go find a drunk and help him! Bill did that. It was Doctor Bob. When Bill finally returned to New York, he found his old buddy Ebbie, and he was drunk. Ebbie stopped hanging out with Roland and helping other drunks. He got drunk! So, you see, I see the "OUR PATH" as starting with Dr. Carl Jung to Roland, Roland to Ebbie, Ebbie to Bill, Bill to Dr. Bob, Bill and Bob to Bill Dotson, on and on, up the present day. Me helping you. Whenever we see one of us drinking or drugging again, it simply comes down to "they got off the path". This is 2009. We can say now that the path is Meetings, Sponsors, Sober Support System, Working the Steps, and the list can go on and on. But, I see it at it's simplist demoninator: One Drunk helping Another Drunk. Our Path is spiritual in nature. Not religious, but spiritual. We join our spirits in a path of wellness.

Father Martin

I have become a good friend of Father Martin. He is 84 years old and still doing quite well. He had a heart attack and is currently in the Hospital. He always askes me to say a prayer for him, as he also does for me. I am asking all to say a prayer for Father Martin. He is a great guy and has done so much for so many. He lives with Mae Abraham and her husband at Father Martin's Ashley, in Maryland. Say a prayer for Mae too.

Evidenced Based Programs

I am an old fashioned chemical dependency treatment counselor! The old way works. I have designed programs in the treatment field and community corrections for over 20 years. I like what I do. I am an avid follower of Father Martin. I wrote an editor of a Treatment centered Magazine and asked him why he didn't focus on any 12 step recovery programs in articles. His response was, "...and 12-step-based recovery programs are not particularly effective, and consumers are fed up. They want to be treated medically while in treatment, and are sick of being force fed so-called spirituality.