FATHER MARTIN

Quick note on Father. I called his house yesterday, and Father answered the phone. Praise God!! He was a little sluggish, but certainly not his demeanor or wit. We talked for about 10 minutes, and in closing he said as he always says, "keep me in your prayers Bob, as I always do you." Every meeting I go to I ask for prayers for Father, when the ask for prayers for the sick and suffering. Please do that for him.

90 Meetings in 90 days....

an old timer in Cleveland has a saying he uses. He says, "if you sit in your garage for 90 days, when you come out, you won't be a CAR". He doesn't discount the fact that meeting makers make it, he just wants to put the focus on the real work: Sponsor, working the steps, reading the Big Book, helping others, etc. He would make note of those who just go there and never get involved. Sometimes it takes a minute to catch the fever of AA work. Another saying he would say is: "People who don't go to meetings, never hear what happens to people who don't go to meetings. I used to take a guy to meetings every day, and he was always drunk when I would take him. He eventually got sober and now has around 14 years. What if I would have told him call me when you get serious and I will help you? I came around that way, and see that meeting makers make it! But at some point, while we are there we must get active. I know, we say suggested. Well the word suggest is used 7 times in the first 164 pages of our Big Book. The word must is used 76 times! Well it's time for a cup of coffee, see ya later.

Sponsor

I was given my first Sponsor, and every one since. I have never picked one. If you look at the oldest meeting schedule in AA, that would be the Cleveland one, On the last page, under CLEVELAND DISTRICT OFFICE, in the first paragraph, it states: The District Office is the hub of all AA groups in Northeastern Ohio. The primary purpose of the District Office is to answer the call for help from the still suffering alcoholic. It is our duty then to relay the call for help to the secretary of the nearest group or individuals who have placed their names on file. The secretary in turn finds a SPONSOR. This was written in the first meeting schedule, put into use in 1941. Not one word has changed. I think over the years, we started taking an easier way, by telling that new person to look around and find someone you can relate to. If I would have been told that, I would have gone back to the bar. I sit on a stool and tell the guy next to me a couple of lies and buy him a drink. Then he tells me a couple of lies and buys me a drink. At that time I could relate to that! My first Sponsor was assigned by the Secretary. When he retired and went south, he assigned my next sponsor, when that Sponsor got very ill, he assigned my next Sponsor, when that Sponsor was in Hospice, he interviewed several men and assigned my next Sponsor. That seems to have worked for me, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it! I believe with all my heart, that a Sponsor relationship is a two way street. I get as much help from him as he also gets from me. Hence, this program is one drunk helping another! Time for some coffee, catch ya all later.

Having had a Spirtual Awakening.....

as THE result of these steps, Bill was, if nothing else, a gifted writer and master of the English language. This step sums it all up. This spiritual awakening is THE result, not a result, not one of the results, THE result. If you look at awakening, it is a constant thing going on for quite some time. Think of awakening in the morning. Do you jump out of bed already dressed and run out the door. Maybe some do, but awakening is a process. First the alarm goes off, hit the snooze bar a few times, then get up and say your prayers (still awakening), go to the bathroom and shower and shave, do your hair, whatever, then go to the kitchen and eat something. All this time we are still awakening! Lets look at after taking that last drink and beginning to work the steps. In this recovery life, we are awakening. We work the first nine steps and then we begin to live the last three, day by day, for the rest of our lives (hopefully). Bill saw that as an ongoing process, and he saw it as awakening, one day at a time. I have heard speakers say, "I wish I was as far along as old what's his name". That's missing the point Bill was making. Everyone of us are that very point of our personal awakening as we should be at that time. We should all take note that none of us are alike (thank goodness), and we should hold our heads up, because we are right where our God wants us to be at that time. I believe, we are moving ahead in this awakening all the way to the final day, when we will be awake in our God's hands. So, I take it as a grace to be wherever I am at in this awakening, at this time. We are all just awakening along the way in this Human life, in a spiritual way. Time for a cup of coffee, and awaken a little more. See ya soon!

SOBER?

What is the meaning of the word sober? Today it means, not intoxicated. But, let's look back and see what it really means. The English language is the most difficult language to learn because each word has a lot of meanings. How about the word gay. I grew up believing if you are gay, you are a happy person. If you use the word gay today, it means you are homosexual. Words change. A phrase from the 1800's was "SOBER AS A JUDGE". Did that mean he wasn't drunk? I don't think so. If you look in the dictionary, each word has several meanings with a number correspondence. Number one is the most recent use, number two an older use, and so on. If you look up sober and go to an older use, you will see what I mean. A very old meaning of the word sober is; capable of making life decisions. Thus, why the saying sober as a judge made sense back then. A judge was always making "life decisions from the bench". The town drunk, when drunk was called useless and a problem that should be locked up, and so on. But put him in jail for a few days and gather his wits about him, he becomes (as society would say) capable of making life decisions. So with that in mind, do you see how the word sober came to mean "not drunk"? Over the years I have been saying, "if a drunk stops drinking he is dry!" It takes a lot of work, working a 12 step recovery program, living life on life's terms, taking an inventory, admitting wrongs, making amends, before the word SOBER can safely describe the once drunk person. So, you can now see why I use the word SOBER only with some safe probing and understanding of the person I am using it to describe. That's my take on it. what's yours?

Suboxone?

I started working with two Doctors last year, who are career Addictionologists. Over time I have learned to respect them and their opinions very much. They started sending me IOP client's who they have on Suboxone. I was hesitant for a few months, but that changed over this past year. I am following about a dozen of their client's and I am very impressed! A few had picked up again, but most are working a powerful 12-step program. And the ones that picked up again, most have come back.I have a good relationship with their Sponsors, and I see the clients, as well as the Sponsors weekly. So over this past year, I am able to see that Suboxone is a viable choice for the opiate addict, as long as they are involved in 12-step recovery and have a positive Sponsor who also accepts this form of recovery. My personal 12-step recovery program has opened my eyes to the fact that "we realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask him in you morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick." I am trying to hold true to those words. I see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am at peace with that!

RELAPSE DYNAMICS

RELAPSE: It's a thought process, not an action! What is the new person told to do when he/she is in a relapse? TELL SOMEONE, GET HELP, CALL YOUR SPONSOR, GO TO A MEETING, PRAY, ETC. Well, if you are told that a relapse is an action that means you have already began using again, that's too late! How about if we begin to look at a relapse as thinking instead of using? Now it becomes possible to engage some good recovery techniques before that drink or drug is picked up.

I've had two relapses today, and I'm still sober! How's that possible?

First of all, we have to agree that recovery is not just being dry, but actually working a 12-step program. Then we look at your thinking process in this recovery. We hope that your thinking has begun to be positive and more centered on the steps and promises. Now you work on setting up ways to check your thinking throughout the day. This will eventually become a habit instead of a working production. But, until that happens you will need to stop often and check your thoughts out before they become action. Next, you will need to have a support system, which includes a Sponsor that you will talk to daily about your thinking process. This will help your mind set up boundaries and check points that will become more natural as time passes.

Now let us define relapse in thinking. If thinking in recovery is mostly a positive pattern, then relapse would be negative thinking. Some of these thoughts would sound like; He/She doesn't like me, I'm not being treated fairly, nobody will see me take that, leave me alone, and add all the thoughts you can think of to this list. Remember, these thoughts will become benchmarks that will set up warnings for when they come up in your mind. Now we are beginning to set up some relapse dynamics that will begin the process of seeing a relapse as thinking, not using.

What do we do now? We begin to stop immediately when we identify our thinking has begun to be negative. We do a short inventory of what just happened and why has my thinking changed? We kick back into a positive recovery thinking mode and we have just returned to the recovery process. We have just avoided picking up that next drink or drug. We are still CLEAN AND SOBER.

We are now viewing relapse as a thought process not an action of picking up the next drink or drug. Recovery is positive thinking and relapse is negative thinking. When thinking goes to negative, we can inventory it and return to positive thinking. This is true relapse dynamics. My thinking can change without having to change my sobriety/clean date. Now isn't that way easier than that uncomfortable action of "reintroducing yourself"?